Dealing with nasty people with good friends.

It has been a while since I last wrote, that is because I am getting ready to go to University and I am stoked. Anyway this post today is about an event that happened a few weeks back with a woman on the bus and what she said to which I am not going to lie, hurt more then having my teeth out but I got through it with my amazing friends.

What happened was that I was waiting for my bus as I usually do on a Wednesday morning on my way to college, when an elderly woman said to me that I could get on the bus before her as she was waiting for the 9:30am. I said "Thank you but I am wait for that one as well" in reply she said this "Why what have you got?" whilst saying this she looked me up and down. I decided to stand tall and say in a polite manner and say "I have Diabetes and Neuropathy of my legs" I was smiling because I am proud of having this.

What happened next was out of my control...

The elderly woman started to shake her head in disgust at me and said in a very angrily tone and said "what is this world coming to if teenagers have to steal and lie." She turned and turned back and said "well even if you have you don't look like it." It was these 10 words that ripped my heart out because it was the thought that if one person thinks what do the rest think of me the lier. I knew I wasn't lieing and I didn't know what to say I just lowered my head and carried on I never said a word to the woman but I wish that I had now.

I put what happened on Facebook and the mass response that I received was amazing my friends had my back and even people who didn't read it heard about it and gave me support. You see with everyone there for me it made me realise that that woman is one person with an opinion that yes other people may have but the people who's opinions that I care about are the people that I care about myself: my friends, my family and my boyfriend. they are the only people that matter to me know.

I want to thank my mum because I rang her after I got off the bus, it was the first time that she said that the next time I see this woman I was to tell my mum and she will say something to her because it is uncalled for.

If you have a story like mine even if you don't have the same condition as me please do tell me, just so you can have a hug from me like I say "a hug can't stop a war but it can stop the tears"

Meeting new people.

It has been a while since I have wrote on here and I have been up to quite a lot that I am very proud of and some that I'm not so proud of. But as I have learnt over that past few weeks you can't change what has already been done.

To start off with, I went to a meeting with a bunch of Diabetics and it was amazing for the first time in a long time I was in a room where I felt so comfortable. I could get out my Blood Glucose monitor and do my sugars and feel that I didn't have to be embarrassed about it. I am doing a lot better about doing my sugars in front of people even my friends. I have also learnt to ignore people when they say things to me no matter how hurtful they may be. As long as you have friends around you and your family that is all that matters as they will never leave you.

It is important that you have people around you that you feel like you can go to even if it is your neighbours sisters cat... OK that might be a little far fetched but you get the idea. Once you have some one you can go to in your times of need or if you just need to have a friendly chat you need someone there. I have gone through the majority of my Diabetic life alone and that was a struggle and it was hard and it is something that I would not want anyone to do alone. Something that I have to stress though is that I am not alone anymore I have a family around me even if I don't live with them and I have awesome friends who I love to pieces.

I might not have the life that other people may have like been able to go out and get drunk or am able to go to my boyfriends (not that I have one) when even I want or do a lot of physical exercise, things like this for me take a lot of planning but do you know what I wouldn't change it even if I was given the chance to because I love my life, yes I have my ups and downs with it but who doesn't.

If you want me you can contact me through the usual ways:
nicholetaylor1@hotmail.com
find me on Twitter: Nick_taylor1
find me on Facebook: Nick Taylor
Youtube: DiabeticNichole

Hating your diabetes.

This is an odd one for me to talk about today, as its something that said out loud for the first time yesterday. I was sat in the hospital with my nurse, the other day, who has been with me through thick and thin, when she asked me "Do you hate the pump?" I started to get upset and just came out with "no I hate my diabetes" the look of pure shock on her face.

The thing is I hate it because no matter how well I try and no matter how good I think I'm doing it is still wrong and I always get shot down for it, they will come out with things like "your doing good but there is still room for improvement" I'm sick of hearing that said to me, its not like I want them to show me with praise, I would just like for once to not shoot me down.

I also hate it because I feel so alone, I have people saying tome that they understand but they don't not really. I was having lunch with my friends at college on Wednesday and one of them said something to me, which mad me think. It made me think on how people look at me (I'm not meaning anything bad C***) I mean like people who meet me for the first time, or are just starting to get to know me. It's like people who treat me differently I don't like it. I want to be treat just like a "normal" person.

I have decided to seek out help so that I don't feel alone any more. I have been invited to a meeting in Leeds which I am going to, so that I can meet people like me.

I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to my friends who although we have spats you are all still there for me and I love you all for that, you guys are my rocks. Don't know what I would do without you.

This has been a hard one for me this time, and I hope that you understand that although I am saying these things and I am feeling the way that I do. I wouldn't change who I am, maybe just how I look at myself.

N

Trust in People.

Hi everyone, I am starting off today by saying sorry to people who I may have offended last week, I was getting stressed so much and I needed to vent about what has been going on in my life, I know that people talk to other people "normally" but I use this to get my anger out and it did relate to my diabetes. If anyone wants to tell me what they think please feel free.

Now to go to what I am talking about this week. You have to put trust in people whether it be your family or it be new people that have come into your life either as friends or family. The people I put my trust in last night were my new family. I don't remember a bit of what happened and other bits are still fuzzy.

I had been messing around with my step brother Chis, like families do but I started to feel myself going Hypo so I got up and sat on the sofa and checked my levels, they were 3.7 so I went to the kitchen and got out my Lucozade and had 150ml. I know this is too much but a lately it has been taking a lot more to bring me up. I waited the standard 10 minuets to see if it took affect (whilst doing all this I told my step mum what I was).

When I checked it again it had not gone up but it had dropped to 2.8, by this time we were worried but not enough to strap me to a stretcher and take me away, so yet again I had some more Lucozade it was about another 20ml and again we waited. By this time I was very cold and I was shaking so Chris worried to heat me up to stop the shaking he sat with me and just hugged me.

Sharon by this time was so worried I wasn't making sense because I had dropped to 2.7, so she did the only thing she could think of she rang my sister Antoinette for help, as my dad was at work. So Antoinette told her to give me two slices of bread and more Lucozade in a glass this time so I can gulp it down. We waited in anticipation to see if I would come up and sure enough I came up to 4.9. I could feel my self getting warmer and the numbness in my head had gone.

We then spent the rest of the night going through what happens if I collapse, which I will be doing for my video blog soon I just have to find a camera man.

If you would like anymore information please feel free to get into contact with me anytime on:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100001335077868
http://twitter.com/#!/Nick_Taylor1

Hospital Pt2

Hello everyone this is just a quick post, whilst I am on my way to college on the bus. It is about my second trip to the hospital about my diabetes, it was again that my nurse told me that yes granted I have been doing much better and my HbA1C was improving, but it is the matter that I am not doing enough tests. I did question my nurse about this because I honestly thought I was doing enough but looks like it still wasn't enough.

And for a few days after I was done I did do a lot more tests and I quite enjoyed it but then the day came when I needed to do it on the bus and this woman was staring at me shaking her head. Now this really hurt because my feelings about people were getting better on what I thought people thought of me and I started not to care again because "this is me" and I can't let people get to me. I have to admit this has set me back quite a bit but I'm hoping that I can get through this.

I am aware this may seem small to some people, but I don't think that people realise what a big impact what they do makes, now I could understand if it was a child doing it because they might not understand but an adult could ask.

I realise that I think I have gone of track a bit. Going back to the hospital my dad went with and my nurse said that it was nice to see him, and it is nice because he seems to want to help as much as he can. My dad has a new family now and they have taken me and my illness in with them and they are interested with it and again they want to help.

I think to over come these fears I am going to have to say that I don't care what people do or think because I can't help who I am and well if they don't like it well that's their problem, I hoping with the help of my friends and family I can get back on track, because you only get one shot at this and that's all.

Please leave a comment and if you have gone through something similar please tell me at diabeticnick@gmail.com because I'm all ears so to speak.

Standing Down For A While

Hello there followers and readers, I am just writing this to let you know that for the next few weeks I am standing down from writing and doing my video blog as I have got a lot of things that are going on. Due to college and my Diabetes getting under control.

I will be back next month continuing with my weekly blogs and it will be a regular occurrence.

I do apologise but if anyone would like to get in contact with me please by all means feel free and I will be happy to help.

Thank you

Hospital Trip

Hello there every one this week I am going to be talking about a trip to the hospital I had on Wednasday, and how I realised that if i didn't change I was putting my life in danger and they would take my pump away.

I know that I write on here that it is important to take control of your diabetes but I haven't been honest with you all, I haven't been looking after myself. I went three months without doing a single blood check, I relied on my pump to give me my insulin and i was overloading on sugar. I knew what it was doing to me and I knew that I was dangering myself but at the time I didn't care what was happening to me. It was only after my family rang the hospital that I realised what was happening.

I had slipped back into depression and nothing could get me out of it, I tried talking to a good friend of mine who was going through his own problems but still found time to talk to me and although that felt better it didn't change me or the way I was feeling, I constantly felt guilt because I couldn't tell the one person I care about the most how I was feeling because I didn't want to hurt him.

I had been telling myself that I had been doing my BM (blood sugars) but it got to the stage where I was fed up of seeing the high numbers and the only way to make them stop was stop doing them but I noticed that the reason why I was feeling this way was because I didn't know that my BMs were always high. It was my mum who first rang the hospital and they told her to tell me to text them when I was free to go see them.

I again left it for two weeks before I spoke to them but I finally decided to do it and I decided to go they made an appointment for me the day after and in honesty I was going to make an excuse not to go see them but I did. I sat in that room like a 6 year old girl about to get told off for the first time. I was scared. They looked at the results of my Blood monitor and all they said to me was "tell us whats been happening", I did and it was like a huge weight had been lifted and we sat and spoke about my options. they wanted to take my pump but it was too risky.

We decided that we were going to wait one month to see if I can get my self under control, the way they have helped me to do this is:

• They sent me to the dietitian who told me how the carbs in my food works and how to count them properly, I agreed with the dietitian to keep a food diary to see what foods I am eating and what we might be able to take out.
• They also told me that I had to forget what people may think about me doing my sugars in front of them, I need to do it, it's who I am and if they want to know what I am doing they can ask.#

The good news is that since I have seen them my sugars have come down which makes me feel really good, my moods have settled down and I feel better in myself. I feel like a new person with a second chance. More good news is that I have my videos sorted out so feel free to take a look, it is on the sugar content of certain drinks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DU0uDq4nz0 feel free to leave a comment for me.

If anyone is going through what I have been then feel free to email me at diabeticnichole@gmail.com I am all ears. Even if you don't have diabetes but is going through depression I am still all ears.

Periods

Hello everyone I know that this blog has been long time waiting, it is just that I have had a lot of technical difficulties but hopefully everything is up and running smoothly now and at the bottom of this post will be my facebook name so that you can talk to me that way and I can give you more updates that way and you can share some ideas that you want to know about if you wish to.

Now to get to business. Periods are most common to women but I would like the lads to read this as it would be good to hear what is going on with your partner. This is only something that comes along once a month but for some diabetics like me it can come around more frequently and can not be very pleasant.

These monthly events will affect your life as a diabetic as it will affect your sugars and will affect how you feel in yourself. From the diabetic side you sugar levels can either go one of two ways that need to be treated differently and they are as follows:

• If your sugars increase then you should increase your insulin by 20% after you meals, this will mean that you will be able to still eat normally and you will be able to reduce the sickness feeling significantly which might make it more bearable to have.
• If your sugars drop regularly then I would switch to a low sugar drink instead of your usual this means that your sugars may level out and you can carry on as normal.

If this fails to work after three days for either suggestions then I would consult your doctor as there might be something else going on. Also never keep what you are feeling inside you must talk to someone about what you are feeling as if you keep it bottled in then you are going to feel a lot worse even if you keep a period journal, anything is better then nothing.

In terms of the bleed its self, if you are unsure about what is normal and what it not but you must remember that the blood will always look like more when on a pad because of the gravitational pull but if you are really concerned then I would get in contact with someone as soon as possible because if you are bleeding a lot and that is what is causing your sugars to go out of control then it might be at your best health interest to go see someone about a contraceptive to use to slow the bleeding of to regulate it.

Please remember if you are thinking this is not right, then go see someone do not hesitate. Go see someone!

Next week I should have my videos connected so that you can see what happens when my blood sugars rise and what happens when my sugars are low. REMEMBER I AM DOING THIS IN A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT DO NOT DO IT FOR FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

My facebook name in Nick Taylor it is a picture of me in a red t-shirt. I hope to hear from you soon.

Being Ill

There are different types of being ill, for example you could have a cold and feel really run down or you could have accidentally forgotten to take your long lasting insulin and your blood sugars have gone through the roof. In any case there are steps that you should not just panic and think "oh my god nothing is working"

The first step is knowing what is wrong with you, because sometimes they can be mistaken for something else. This has happened to me before when I was been violently sick and my sugars were very high. My mum took me to the hospital to get a. second opinion, they said that my insulin was not working properly so I needed to go on a "sliding scale" to bring me back down. About a week later the same thing happened, turns out it was an allergic reaction to something I was eating whilst at school.

That may have seemed like rambling but it wasn't I have a point and that is not to jump to conclusions about what is happening the best thing to do is keep a check on your blood sugars and keeping a note of them at all times, also it is best if you make a note of what your eating in case it is something you have eaten that does not agree with you. Then that. Way you are able to stay out of the hospital and keep a space open for someone who needs it. Please don't think that this is me telling you not to go to the hospital at all because it isn't, not at all, all I'm saying is think before you leap.

I hope that this post has been helpful, and I do apologise for it been a little short its just that at the moment I am currently completing my first terms of college and I have a lot of work to do, this will carry on for the next two or three weeks as this is when it will stop.

Next time I will be talking about something that will effect women most then men and that is when you are on your period. I would suggest that lads do read it as it will probably explain a lot about your diabetic girlfriend.